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Pieces

Going to America
109
LKN '25   •   May 2023
Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hon…
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19   •   December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Ways to Get Away with Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater
83
JGB '25   •  
- Wait for the movie to have a scene with explosions, then point and yell fire  - Rent out an…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
Thumb War
39
NGH '23   •   December 2022
First rule of being the new kid is to look out for bullies. I see a bully in the bathroom threateni…
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19   •   June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
New Best Friend
361
SEH '26   •   May 2023
This guy Brian showed up in my shower last night. The water wasn’t on, he was just read…
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22   •  
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients.  Me: Oh…
Hogtown
44
CYL '26   •   December 2023
Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools.  They either come for that or Larry t…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19   •   December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
Kashan Rugs
10
EAH   •   May 2022
Cold War Frat Boy
300328
SAB '24   •   May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
Classical Conditioning
118
MFP '23-24   •   January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24   •   December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
Smart Home
43
JGB '25   •   March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Debugging
103
FOD '24   •   March 2023
My story begins with me working as an engineer on one of the first computers in the world, wh…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20   •   November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…