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Pieces
Chivalry is Dead
119
JGB '25 • May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
Allergy
52
LKN '25 • March 2023
Molly: Oh Jon, this sunset picnic is so romantic…are you…crying? Jon: Sorry, *sniff*…
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23 • May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24 • January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL • May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
Film Noir
30
MMM '20 • December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22 • December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21 • October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25 • May 2022
Letter to Roosevelt
10
MMM '20 • January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22 • January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
The History of Hats
3
JPW '21 • October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
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