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Pieces

Change Jar
4
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20   •   June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
St. Louis Children’s Theatre Production Company
42
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
Hello kids, thanks for coming out to audition. First, a little bit about me. My unrelenting passion…
Teacher’s Note
31
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
Science Class
171
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever)  Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
Leisure Corner
GPL '21-'22   •   March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23   •   January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
Eugenics
ASB '17   •   December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
Richard A. Smith: The Hero
52
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, which is why I spend all my time wandering ar…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
128
LKN '25   •   December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Driving a Plane
42
EAT '24   •   September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
Biome
OTLB '13   •   July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20   •   November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25   •   May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…