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Pieces

A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21   •   October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
Bus Driver
70
TAF '19   •   May 2018
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Lifeguarding
15
MAG '21-'22   •   December 2018
Lifeguard: (sips smoothie) I’m just saying: if your kid was “drowning in the deep end&r…
Eulogy of George
1
MGM '19   •   December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24   •   September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22   •   January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Fireman
59
OMA '24   •   December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
Yearbook Signing
10
MAG '21-'22   •   May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
Larry Buys Condoms
20
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
Van Gogh
60
JKF '25   •   September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
Suburban Journaling
49
JKF '25   •   December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Staring Contest
1
ghost   •   June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
DrivingInstructor.ai
135
EB '24   •   May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
4
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
Titles of Movies I Wrote About Time Travel
10
PKS '21-'22   •   April 2021
-   I Go Back in Time and Kick Dust All Over the JonBenet Ramsey Crime Scene -   I Go B…