Artwork: ghost

Larry Buys Condoms

Author: BWM '19-'21
As seen in: Larry vs. the Infernal Machine #

Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers. 

Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, smooth or ribbed? 

Larry: Give me the ribbed,

Clerk: Ribbed for her pleasure or his pleasure?

Larry: His pleasure.

Clerk: What color, Purple or Gold? 

Larry: Purple

Clerk: Apple or spearmint? 

Larry: Spearmint, 

Clerk: Lubricated or dry? 

Larry: Lubricated 

Clerk: Fluoride? 

Larry: What? 

Clerk: Fluorided condoms, for your partner’s teeth. 

Larry: Sure, I don’t really see-  

Clerk: For gay sex or straight sex? 

Larry: …. What’s the difference? 

Clerk: Well, the gay sex condoms are cheaper. 

Larry: Give me those then. 

Clerk: Alright… let me just ring you up here, and *turns on PA system*. “ATTENTION FATBURGER GROCERY SHOPPERS, THIS MAN HAS JUST PURCHASED RIBBED FOR HIS PLEASURE, PURPLE, SPEARMINT, LUBRICATED, FLUORIDE INFUSED, GAY SEX CONDOMS.” Sorry about that buddy, it’s store policy.