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Pieces

The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19   •   January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D   L_KE &n…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
How Cancer Eventually Got Cured
19
YMC '21-'22   •   July 2021
Before you say anything, we know what you’re thinking: why should you care that cancer eventu…
Street Fight
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
Fireman
59
OMA '24   •   December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
New Cat
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22   •   October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19   •   June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18   •   December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
Rhombus
326
JGB '25   •   May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22   •   May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23   •   May 2022
Swingers
26
EAT '24   •   December 2023
Growing up in the 70’s was crazy…Bell-bottoms, Reagan was an actor… The thing t…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25   •  
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Fat Camp
120
JLG '21   •   March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
Protest
47
SAB FOD   •   May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…