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Pieces
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21 • May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Tom and Jerry Spec Script
13
HJH '19 • October 2020
Tom is strolling along the railroad tracks, whistling a happy tune. Jerry walks parallel to Tom on …
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20 • February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
Middle School Beauty
34
MJS '19 • June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
Tuxedo
13
MAS '18 • September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
Shark Tank U.S.S.R
49
PKS '21-'22 • October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR. Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
For Your Consideration: Ted Lasso
44
GPCP '22 • May 2022
Dear President
29
HJH '19 • October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20 • October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL • May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
Street Fight
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22 • February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
The Life of a Cowboy
86
AJ '18 • December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
Modern Mom
28
CYL '26 • September 2022
My mom isn’t like other moms. When I was conceived, my mother didn’t carry me in …
Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24 • December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
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