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Pieces
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21 • February 2020
*mmmm* .. (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark) “mmm…
Barbershop Quartet
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25 • May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
12
MMM '20 • October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
The Life of a Cowboy
86
AJ '18 • December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
Dougle
114
AAD '23-'24 • May 2022
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20 • November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
Driving a Plane
42
EAT '24 • September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21 • October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
Package Delivery FAQ
27
JGB '25 •
Q: I had issues receiving the correct product. What should I do? A: Name which of the following sc…
Reddit History
10
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN 0 poin…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21 • April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
One Liners
92
NGH '23 •
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22 • December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
Geoffrey Sanders, World Explorer
10
PKS '21-'22 • November 2018
Antarctica - There aren’t many permanent residents so the scientists make friends with pengui…
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