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Pieces
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Suburban Journaling
49
JKF '25 • December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22 • December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
38
NGH '23 • January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24 • September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
Fortune Teller Comix
MAK '21 • January 2021
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21 • February 2020
*mmmm* .. (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark) “mmm…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18 • May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Brain Man
42
JKF '25 • March 2023
Knock knock. Hey silly. It’s me. The deceased 50 year old man who has permanently mov…
Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
MJS '19 • July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
My First Real Piece Ever
1
DJL '20 • October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
King of Smooth
78
CLC '22-'23 • December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24 • May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22 • May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
61
SMR '25 • September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
Commercial Shoot
CDL '21 • December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
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