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Pieces

If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24   •  
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22   •   October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
My Relationship
8
ZPH '12   •   February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
Baseball Ghost
75
GPCP '22   •   May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Texting on My Laptop II
20
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
You have entered the chat. You have added Sarah Brickman to the chat. Me: Sarah Me: !! Me: ****…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
49
SMR '25   •   September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21   •   July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Springtime Getaway
23
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency.  Hi, my 8-months pregna…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18   •   May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25   •   May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19   •   December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
Tuxedo
13
MAS '18   •   September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
Frogs
70
AMC '23   •  
Swingers
26
EAT '24   •   December 2023
Growing up in the 70’s was crazy…Bell-bottoms, Reagan was an actor… The thing t…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24   •   May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
My Ideas for Hallmark Cards
24
MFP '23-24   •  
- I’m sorry I spilled your drink - It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whethe…