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Pieces

Birthday Card
20
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Municipal Archive of Brain Chips in Dalignfort, VA 2077-2122
12
EAT EB   •  
Folder 4: Security Tapes (Wal-mart) 2099 Man: (spilling 2,000 FlexSeal onto conveyor belt) Sorry, …
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22   •   March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22   •   January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Birthday Girl
14
RIP '09   •   October 2008
BIRTHDAY GIRL:  Tonight’s been unbelievable. You are honestly the most amazing friends…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Dating Simulator
26
GPCP '22   •   August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
Change Jar
4
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
Hell
13
MAG '21-'22   •   November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
Fortune Teller Comix
MAK '21   •   January 2021
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
27
BWM '19-'21   •   September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
May December Romance
103
EB '24   •  
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23   •   November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Thumb War
39
NGH '23   •   December 2022
First rule of being the new kid is to look out for bullies. I see a bully in the bathroom threateni…
Rhombus
326
JGB '25   •   May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
That Guy
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23   •   May 2022