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Pieces
Cold War Frat Boy
300328
SAB '24 • May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Late
204
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19 • December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20 • November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25 • May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Accountant
58
OMA '24 • May 2023
Those files better say that I can buy a boat, Gene. My wife loves boats. My girlfriend loves boat…
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19 • October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
My Relationship
8
ZPH '12 • February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25 • May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
College
21
HJH '19 • October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24 • May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22 • March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
Hell
13
MAG '21-'22 • November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24 •
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen. Osama bin L…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20 • October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Dear President
29
HJH '19 • October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25 • May 2022
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