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Pieces

One Man Show
36
EPS '24   •   August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
President’s Little Helper
37
FOD '24   •   September 2021
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, he’s here. The solution to all of our problems. &nbs…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Hammurabi
16
ZDG '20   •   July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Shamu Comix
JFAR '19-'22   •   October 2017
Written by: DRM ’18 Art by: JFAR ’19-22
Oliver Twist
14
RYSL   •   September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Lolita
102
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
My Cult
3
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Baseball Ghost
77
GPCP '22   •   May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Waterboy
90
NGH '23   •   January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
Allergy
52
LKN '25   •   March 2023
Molly: Oh Jon, this sunset picnic is so romantic…are you…crying? Jon: Sorry, *sniff*…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22   •   October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19   •   December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23   •   January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…