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Pieces
Churchill
22
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
Science Class
171
NGH '23 • December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever) Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21 • November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Rhombus
326
JGB '25 • May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19 • December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Frogs
70
AMC '23 •
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Squirrels
71
RYSL •
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
1999
10
JLG '21 • May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22 • January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Missy Manners
126
Josh Lieb '93 • November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Lampy Goes to Bartaco
63
The Harvard Lampoon • October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
Late
204
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Stars
13
NGH '23 • June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Lolita
102
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
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