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Pieces
Lose Yourself Artist Commentary
2
JGS '20 • October 2019
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
JEC '21 • July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25 • September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22 • February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20 • October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Exam Locations
8
MJS '19 • May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney
126
LKN '25 • May 2023
085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, …
FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24 • May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18 • December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
Film Noir
30
MMM '20 • December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
Cold War Frat Boy
300328
SAB '24 • May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
FOMO Cop
101
SMR '25 • May 2023
There were never any parties where I grew up. Believe me—I asked everybody. For my eighteenth…
Rhombus
326
JGB '25 • May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
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