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Pieces

The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
54
CYL '26   •   December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21   •   September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Lover in the Night Comix
21
AMC '23   •   May 2023
Incentives
53
MRB '25   •   December 2023
Ever since I earned my online economics nanodegree, I’ve been controlling my fourth-grade cla…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25   •   May 2022
The Number 6
12
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
Econdoms
29
WLU '25   •   May 2022
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25   •   May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
Warning from the Future
90
RYSL   •   March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
Movie Theatre
14
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2019
Dear President
29
HJH '19   •   October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Closing Argument
142
SEH '26   •   May 2023
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the …
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
How Cancer Eventually Got Cured
19
YMC '21-'22   •   July 2021
Before you say anything, we know what you’re thinking: why should you care that cancer eventu…
Science Class
171
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever)  Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM   •   February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
Obituary
12
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
If you would’ve told me yesterday that I’d be writing an obituary for the guy in this…