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Pieces

My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous   •   March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21   •   November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Gun Show
1
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24   •   January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21   •   March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Best Picture
4
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
But just what a year for movies! All my friends tell me, they tell me George Clooney, you love movi…
Going to America
107
LKN '25   •   May 2023
Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hon…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25   •  
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
My First Kid
48
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
College
21
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
Elvis's Draft Letter
87
LKN '25   •   March 2023
This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…
Jury Duty
253
SAB CLHC   •   May 2023
It’s Monday in Morrison County, and that means the courthouse is open for… business? N…
Stars
13
NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Puritan Party
30
RYSL FOD   •   May 2023
Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! …