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Pieces
Snails Need Love Too
1
ZDG '20 • November 2019
A darkly handsome bladesman stood at the edge of the clearing. I didn’t recognize him, but hi…
One for the Road Comix
23
MIC '26 • December 2023
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18 • December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
Kitchen Sink
18
VG • December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Barbershop Quartet
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
64
SMR '25 • September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22 • September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24 • September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
Vanagon
13
MAS '18 • December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Missy Manners
126
Josh Lieb '93 • November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
My Cult
3
NGH '23 • June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Apology
17
EAT '24 • May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
JLG '21 • October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24 • July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23 •
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Hammurabi
16
ZDG '20 • July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Ghost Hunters
45
MMM '20 • December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go. It’s officially Halloween. My parents think I&r…
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