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Pieces

Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24   •   May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25   •   May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.   …
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20   •   June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22   •  
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients.  Me: Oh…
Dinosaur Story
25
FOD '24   •   May 2022
Tour Guide: We’ve finally reached the Chicxulub crater, everyone, the site of the explosion t…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
Gavels
35
JGB '25   •   May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
New York
9
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22   •   February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
TV Show Taglines
31
ZDG '20   •   October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
Staring Contest
1
ghost   •   June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
Tom and Jerry Spec Script
13
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Tom is strolling along the railroad tracks, whistling a happy tune. Jerry walks parallel to Tom on …
Fat Camp
120
JLG '21   •   March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
Godzilla Comix
37
AMC '23   •  
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19   •   December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
Allergy
52
LKN '25   •   March 2023
Molly: Oh Jon, this sunset picnic is so romantic…are you…crying? Jon: Sorry, *sniff*…