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Pieces
King of Smooth
78
CLC '22-'23 • December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
Real Estate Tour
6
HFJ '18 • October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19 • January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Heaven
113
CLC '22-'23 • December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
Lolita
102
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
The Trial of the Decade
17
MMM '20 • October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
Econdoms
29
WLU '25 • May 2022
The Woods
72
JLN '21-22 • November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24 • December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
May December Romance
103
EB '24 •
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19 • December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23 • December 2022
- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only …
Sometimes when I’m thinking…
12
MAG '21-'22 • November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23 • January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Dear President
29
HJH '19 • October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
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