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Pieces

Frat Boy
55
NGH '23   •   December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy.  Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
Eugenics
ASB '17   •   December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL   •   May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
The Trial of the Decade
17
MMM '20   •   October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
Change Jar
4
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
Operation Enduring Freedom
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
George Bush:  Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23   •   November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
A Knight's Quest
96
RYSL   •  
The object of your next quest is to smite a dragon. No, not ‘he.’ This dragon is female…
Marco Polo
16
HJH '19   •   March 2019
Marco Polo travelled the world trading spices, documenting his experiences. Today, I entered the c…
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22   •   January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…
Disenchantment Day
48
CYL '26   •   May 2023
Disenchantment Day is my favorite day of the year.  I live to shatter the false sense of secur…
Morning Announcements
117
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21   •   May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death.  -Wow, so you mus…
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24   •   December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19   •   October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…