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Pieces
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22 • October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21 • May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Shamu Comix
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2017
Written by: DRM ’18 Art by: JFAR ’19-22
School Tour
20
EBC '22-'23 • November 2019
Hey. Hey you. Yeah, you, freshman. Come here. Not so close. You want to see the real secrets this s…
WWE
28
ASB '17 • December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
Frat Boy
55
NGH '23 • December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy. Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
Brain Man
42
JKF '25 • March 2023
Knock knock. Hey silly. It’s me. The deceased 50 year old man who has permanently mov…
1999
10
JLG '21 • May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22 • February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
Application
83
EBC '22-'23 • October 2020
Hey Angel- Thanks for letting me read your college essay! I’ve left a few comments below. L…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Party
48
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
The History of Hats
3
JPW '21 • October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22 • November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
Voice-Activated Lights
155
SMR '25 • March 2023
— I’m excited to see your new place finally.— Here, let me turn on the lights. AH…
Street Fight
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22 • September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
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