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Pieces
Going to America
109
LKN '25 • May 2023
Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hon…
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24 • December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25 • May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Best Picture
4
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
But just what a year for movies! All my friends tell me, they tell me George Clooney, you love movi…
Cruising Altitude
2
MFP '23-24 • September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24 • January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Baseball Ghost
77
GPCP '22 • May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18 • May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23 • November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
Frat Boy
55
NGH '23 • December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy. Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22 • February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21 • November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Barbershop Quartet
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
Brinkmanship
36
CLC '22-'23 • May 2022
“The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art” &nd…
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