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Pieces
Playwriting
56
JLN '21-22 • February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention. “Well well well, what do we h…
Tom and Jerry Spec Script
3
HJH '19 • October 2020
Tom is strolling along the railroad tracks, whistling a happy tune. Jerry walks parallel to Tom on …
Elvis Has Left the Building
63
Robert Carlock '95 • November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19 • December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
Party
48
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Frogs
70
AMC '23 •
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Male Introspection
124
AMC '23 •
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22 •
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients. Me: Oh…
Cold War Frat Boy
300328
SAB '24 • May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19 • October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
The Big Man on Campus
10
LRK '21-'22 • October 2018
Yesterday the Big Man on Campus came to class late and the professor apologized. The class cried be…
New Partner
20
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
The Life of a Cowboy
86
AJ '18 • December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23 • May 2022
Polygamy
1086
JRD '22-'23 • November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24 • May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
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