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Pieces

Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
Kermit
75
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
Advice
4
NSG '20-'22   •   January 2020
Listen bro I totally get where you’re coming from, but just remember that next time you point…
The Woods
72
JLN '21-22   •   November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
CMD+Space Comix
57
LKN '25   •   March 2023
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22   •   February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Missy Manners
126
Josh Lieb '93   •   November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23   •  
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
128
LKN '25   •   December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Life After the Lampoon
18
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
TV Salesman
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…