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Pieces

Goin’ West
DRM '18   •   December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Turing Test
35
FOD '24   •   March 2023
—  Hey check it out, it’s our lab's newest artificial intelligence. &mdas…
Birthday Card
20
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
Therapy
94
OMA '24   •   January 2022
Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.  That’s a headshot of you, bu…
FOMO Cop
101
SMR '25   •   May 2023
There were never any parties where I grew up. Believe me—I asked everybody. For my eighteenth…
Tuxedo
13
MAS '18   •   September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23   •   November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24   •   September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
Baseball Ghost
77
GPCP '22   •   May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22   •   February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19   •   January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21   •   October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
How to Handle Being in a Long Distance Relationship
79
CYL '26   •   March 2023
1) College is busy, so it is important to set up a schedule with your significant other.  When…
My Ideas for Hallmark Cards
24
MFP '23-24   •  
- I’m sorry I spilled your drink - It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whethe…
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
History Class
50
AHG '25   •  
Teacher: …and that is why so many of us are related to Genghis Khan. Jimmy: Related? To a w…