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Pieces
WWE
28
ASB '17 • December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Geoffrey Sanders, World Explorer
10
PKS '21-'22 • November 2018
Antarctica - There aren’t many permanent residents so the scientists make friends with pengui…
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
71
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
Trading Up
46
EB '24 • September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house. – Starti…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20 • August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
My First Kid
49
NGH '23 • December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Cancun Trip Review
42
CLC '22-'23 •
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25 • May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Online Quiz
15
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Take this short quiz and see if we can guess where you were born! How do you pronounce Mayonnaise?…
Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
251
EB '24 • May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
Econdoms
29
WLU '25 • May 2022
Driving to a Burger Joint
CAS '12 • October 2018
“You gonna bring the shit tonight or what?” Simon was riding shotgun in Bill Shi…
Suburban Journaling
49
JKF '25 • December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23 • May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
May December Romance
103
EB '24 •
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
Ghost Hunters
45
MMM '20 • December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go. It’s officially Halloween. My parents think I&r…
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