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Pieces
Biome
OTLB '13 • July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
Vanitas
124
CLC '22-'23 • September 2022
It gives me no joy to say that The Harvard Lampoon is in crisis. The magazine is figuratively tied …
A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
55
CDL '21 • December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Stars
13
NGH '23 • June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Lose Yourself Artist Commentary
2
JGS '20 • October 2019
Waterboy
90
NGH '23 • January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
Staring Contest
1
ghost • June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25 • May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Crying in the Rain
3
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
Classical Conditioning
118
MFP '23-24 • January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25 • May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.  …
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22 • May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20 • November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
WWE
28
ASB '17 • December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Commercial Shoot
CDL '21 • December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
JLG '21 • October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23 • May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
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