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Pieces
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23 • May 2022
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24 • September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21 • February 2020
*mmmm* .. (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark) “mmm…
Life After the Lampoon
18
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
The History of Hats
3
JPW '21 • October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Answering Machine
10
GPL '21-'22 • October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy. – The Doctor is …
Horses
318
CLHC '26 • May 2023
I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24 • May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21 • November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
For Your Consideration: Ted Lasso
44
GPCP '22 • May 2022
Gorilla Larry
18
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
– Woo wooo eeh ahhh wooo *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25 • September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Smart Home
43
JGB '25 • March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21 • May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Raised by Wolves
36
LKN '25 • December 2023
-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew.…
Reddit History
10
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN 0 poin…
Snails Need Love Too
1
ZDG '20 • November 2019
A darkly handsome bladesman stood at the edge of the clearing. I didn’t recognize him, but hi…
Protest
47
SAB FOD • May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
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