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Pieces

Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Fat Camp
120
JLG '21   •   March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18   •   December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09   •   October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Store Closing
DRM '18   •   December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
Obituary
12
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
If you would’ve told me yesterday that I’d be writing an obituary for the guy in this…
Hammurabi
16
ZDG '20   •   July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Elvis Has Left the Building
63
Robert Carlock '95   •   November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
38
NGH '23   •   January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM   •   February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
Birthday Girl
14
RIP '09   •   October 2008
BIRTHDAY GIRL:  Tonight’s been unbelievable. You are honestly the most amazing friends…
Stars
13
NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
One for the Road Comix
23
MIC '26   •   December 2023
Rare
11
HJH '19   •   December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
The History of Hats
3
JPW '21   •   October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22   •   October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20   •   October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
My PG Movie
21
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
‘PG’ stands for ‘Parental Guidance.’ I know all about this because I am an …