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Pieces

Lifeguarding
15
MAG '21-'22   •   December 2018
Lifeguard: (sips smoothie) I’m just saying: if your kid was “drowning in the deep end&r…
One Liners
92
NGH '23   •  
Horse Racing Comix
48
IKI '26   •  
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19   •   October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21   •   September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
Trading Up
46
EB '24   •   September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house.   – Starti…
Squigley
10
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
The C5 Beer Pong Table Piece
10
GPL '21-'22   •   December 2019
So you’re in the market for a custom Beer Pong Table, preferably in the C4 through C6 range, …
Morning Announcements
117
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
Modern Day Barbershop Quartet
4
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Quartet: (singing) Once is a day at a time, twice is looking so fine! Customer: Neat-o! A quartet!…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
Strange Position
26
SAB '24   •  
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
Advice
4
NSG '20-'22   •   January 2020
Listen bro I totally get where you’re coming from, but just remember that next time you point…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
One Man Show
36
EPS '24   •   August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
My Cult
3
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24   •  
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
Online Quiz
15
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Take this short quiz and see if we can guess where you were born! How do you pronounce Mayonnaise?…
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22   •   January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…