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Pieces
Strange Position
26
SAB '24 •
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
Bus Driver
70
TAF '19 • May 2018
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21 • October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19 • December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25 • May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.  …
Dinner Date
6
BGS '22-'23 • November 2020
Lindsey: It is so hot that you speak French, Jack.Jack: Ah, but how else would I order . . . la cr&…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Apology
17
EAT '24 • May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
The Number 6
12
HJH '19 • October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24 • May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
Ways to Get Away with Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater
83
JGB '25 •
- Wait for the movie to have a scene with explosions, then point and yell fire - Rent out an…
Staring Contest
ghost • June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24 • May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Biome
OTLB '13 • July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18 • December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18 • May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24 •
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen. Osama bin L…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21 • April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
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