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Pieces
Thumb War
39
NGH '23 • December 2022
First rule of being the new kid is to look out for bullies. I see a bully in the bathroom threateni…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
Book Discussion
31
OMA '24 • September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22 • November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Real Estate Tour
6
HFJ '18 • October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
My First Kid
48
NGH '23 • December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Cowboy Fantasies
6
MAG '21-'22 • March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19 • January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24 •
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me. It started p…
Van Gogh
60
JKF '25 • September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21 • July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Store Closing
DRM '18 • December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
Letter to Roosevelt
10
MMM '20 • January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22 • December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24 • May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
School Tour
20
EBC '22-'23 • November 2019
Hey. Hey you. Yeah, you, freshman. Come here. Not so close. You want to see the real secrets this s…
Squigley
10
GPCP '22 • December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
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