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Pieces

Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24   •   May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Going to America
109
LKN '25   •   May 2023
Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hon…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Horses
318
CLHC '26   •   May 2023
I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she…
WWE
28
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22   •   June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22   •   May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
Bronze Age Teen Drama
123
JRD '22-'23   •   July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
Dialogue Options in Fallout: New Cambridge
91
JTK '24   •   May 2022
Stranger: Hey there traveler! Is there anything I can help you with?   [1] I’m very hu…
The Trial of the Decade
17
MMM '20   •   October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18   •   December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
Rhombus
326
JGB '25   •   May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
Apology
17
EAT '24   •   May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
Gavels
35
JGB '25   •   May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25   •   May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…