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Pieces
Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D L_KE &n…
Ways to Get Away with Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater
83
JGB '25 •
- Wait for the movie to have a scene with explosions, then point and yell fire - Rent out an…
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12 • May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
Raised by Wolves
36
LKN '25 • December 2023
-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew.…
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26 • December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
Store Closing
DRM '18 • December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
Incentives
53
MRB '25 • December 2023
Ever since I earned my online economics nanodegree, I’ve been controlling my fourth-grade cla…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24 • May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22 • January 2021
Dear Readers, My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
Kermit
75
MAS '18 • December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21 • February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
Goin’ West
DRM '18 • December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Marco Polo
16
HJH '19 • March 2019
Marco Polo travelled the world trading spices, documenting his experiences. Today, I entered the c…
Allergy
52
LKN '25 • March 2023
Molly: Oh Jon, this sunset picnic is so romantic…are you…crying? Jon: Sorry, *sniff*…
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09 • October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Disenchantment Day
48
CYL '26 • May 2023
Disenchantment Day is my favorite day of the year. I live to shatter the false sense of secur…
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