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Pieces

Incentives
53
MRB '25   •   December 2023
Ever since I earned my online economics nanodegree, I’ve been controlling my fourth-grade cla…
My Ideas for Hallmark Cards
24
MFP '23-24   •  
- I’m sorry I spilled your drink - It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whethe…
Opening Line of My Book
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
“Alright everyone… settle down, settle down, if you could all gather round, come a lit…
Package Delivery FAQ
27
JGB '25   •  
Q: I had issues receiving the correct product. What should I do? A: Name which of the following sc…
Kermit
75
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
Lolita
102
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
Dear President
29
HJH '19   •   October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12   •   May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
Store Closing
DRM '18   •   December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
For Your Consideration: Ted Lasso
44
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
Brain Man
42
JKF '25   •   March 2023
Knock knock. Hey silly. It’s me. The deceased 50 year old man who has permanently mov…
Cancun Trip Review
42
CLC '22-'23   •  
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18   •   December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24   •   May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22   •   October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21   •   July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
FOMO Cop
101
SMR '25   •   May 2023
There were never any parties where I grew up. Believe me—I asked everybody. For my eighteenth…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…