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Pieces
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22 •
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients. Me: Oh…
Elvis Has Left the Building
63
Robert Carlock '95 • November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18 • May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
WWE
28
ASB '17 • December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24 •
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me. It started p…
An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
MFP '23-24 • May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
FOMO Cop
101
SMR '25 • May 2023
There were never any parties where I grew up. Believe me—I asked everybody. For my eighteenth…
The Royal We
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2017
The Royal We was a sitcom about King Arthur and his loyal knight and roommate Sir Elton John Episo…
New York
9
BWM '19-'21 • December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
Video Game Pitch
23
JRD '22-'23 •
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
Warning from the Future
90
RYSL • March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
That Guy
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
Fireman
59
OMA '24 • December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
My First Real Piece Ever
1
DJL '20 • October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Book Discussion
31
OMA '24 • September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Van Gogh
60
JKF '25 • September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
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