Sign in Subscribe
About Comp Masthead Contact Search
Home About Comp Masthead Contact Sign in Subscribe

Pieces

Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24   •   December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09   •   October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Exam Locations
8
MJS '19   •   May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
Genesis
10
HJH '19   •   December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Video Game Pitch
23
JRD '22-'23   •  
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
My Relationship
8
ZPH '12   •   February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
Closing Argument
142
SEH '26   •   May 2023
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the …
Street Fight
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
Episode 243: The First One After the Robo War
25
SAB '24   •  
An overnight robo-nuclear war killed everyone in the world except the production team and one of th…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Goin’ West
DRM '18   •   December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
The Number 6
12
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…