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Pieces

My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
r/women Comix
37
AMC '23   •   March 2023
2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24   •   May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22   •   February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20   •   October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Squirrels
71
RYSL   •  
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21   •   February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
Ghost Hunters
45
MMM '20   •   December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go.  It’s officially Halloween.  My parents think I&r…
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18   •   December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22   •   March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Warning from the Future
90
RYSL   •   March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
Olympic Curling
6
MFP '23-24   •  
Me: Hello, I’d like one ticket to watch the gold medal curling match, please. Cashier: I&rsq…
Suburban Journaling
49
JKF '25   •   December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22   •   February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry.  Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24   •  
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…