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Pieces

Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22   •   October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School.  JWG High We Love You …
My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Condolences
61
OECGP ’22-’24   •   March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
Next in Line Comix
21
MIC '26   •   May 2023
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
Film Noir
30
MMM '20   •   December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
71
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
Voice-Activated Lights
155
SMR '25   •   March 2023
— I’m excited to see your new place finally.— Here, let me turn on the lights. AH…
Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23   •  
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
251
EB '24   •   May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
King of Smooth
78
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
Fat Camp
120
JLG '21   •   March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
TV Show Taglines
31
ZDG '20   •   October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
Bronze Age Teen Drama
123
JRD '22-'23   •   July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
Polygamy
1086
JRD '22-'23   •   November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…