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Pieces

Birthday Card
20
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
JEC '21   •   July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18   •   December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous   •   March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
Hell
13
MAG '21-'22   •   November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24   •   May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Hogtown
44
CYL '26   •   December 2023
Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools.  They either come for that or Larry t…
Cowboy Fantasies
6
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25   •   May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22   •   October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School.  JWG High We Love You …
Churchill
22
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
The Talk
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Ways to Get Away with Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater
83
JGB '25   •  
- Wait for the movie to have a scene with explosions, then point and yell fire  - Rent out an…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19   •   January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Suburban Safari Comix
30
AKG, DCCP   •   December 2023
My Cult
3
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
One Man Show
36
EPS '24   •   August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…