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Pieces

My Steed
8
MFP '23-24   •   September 2022
Good evening, Lady Harrington. I have arrived on my mighty steed to take you away to — pardon…
Online Quiz
15
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Take this short quiz and see if we can guess where you were born! How do you pronounce Mayonnaise?…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Male Introspection
124
AMC '23   •  
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25   •   May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24   •   December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25   •   September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25   •   May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
Hamilton
140
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
This is the real story of something that occurred to me in 2008. John Weidman ‘68: I hear we…
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22   •   January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21   •   October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
128
LKN '25   •   December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Relax
10
MJS '19   •   October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL   •   May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
Hindenburg
38
MRB FOD   •   May 2023
Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really ta…