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Pieces

How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24   •  
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Answering Machine
10
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy.  – The Doctor is …
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21   •   April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
Lampy Goes to Bartaco
63
The Harvard Lampoon   •   October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
Video Game Pitch
23
JRD '22-'23   •  
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
The Talk
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
Strange Position
26
SAB '24   •  
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Birthday Card
20
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Modern Day Barbershop Quartet
4
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Quartet: (singing) Once is a day at a time, twice is looking so fine! Customer: Neat-o! A quartet!…
Visit California
134
EAT '24   •   May 2022
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
My Anime Fanfiction
19
JEC '21   •   November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
Elvis Has Left the Building
63
Robert Carlock '95   •   November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
Warning from the Future
90
RYSL   •   March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24   •   May 2022
Episode 243: The First One After the Robo War
25
SAB '24   •  
An overnight robo-nuclear war killed everyone in the world except the production team and one of th…
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…