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Read
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Pieces
My Anime Fanfiction
19
JEC '21 • November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
Litter
116
SMR '25 •
I was born with so much upward vertical velocity that by the time I plunged back through the roof m…
Eulogy of George
1
MGM '19 • December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
Missy Manners
126
Josh Lieb '93 • November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25 • May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.  …
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24 • January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22 • September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20 • November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22 • June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Crazy Parents
4
JBO '10 • October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really? Ho…
Apology
17
EAT '24 • May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
Protest
47
SAB FOD • May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
Change Jar
4
KPB • May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
4
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
Life After the Lampoon
18
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
Dear President
29
HJH '19 • October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22 • October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
CMD+Space Comix
57
LKN '25 • March 2023
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
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