Pieces

JEC '21   •   November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
Litter
116
SMR '25   •  
I was born with so much upward vertical velocity that by the time I plunged back through the roof m…
MGM '19   •   December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
Josh Lieb '93   •   November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
JKF '25   •   May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.   …
FOD '24   •   January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
JGS '20   •   November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22   •   June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
JBO '10   •   October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
Apology
17
EAT '24   •   May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
Protest
47
SAB FOD   •   May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
HJH '19   •   October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
YMC '21-'22   •   October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
LKN '25   •   March 2023
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…