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Pieces

Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24   •   December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Lampy Goes to Bartaco
63
The Harvard Lampoon   •   October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
For Your Consideration: Ted Lasso
44
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
Polygamy
1086
JRD '22-'23   •   November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25   •   May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
A Knight's Quest
96
RYSL   •  
The object of your next quest is to smite a dragon. No, not ‘he.’ This dragon is female…
The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
54
CYL '26   •   December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
r/women Comix
37
AMC '23   •   March 2023
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25   •   May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20   •   August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney
126
LKN '25   •   May 2023
085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, …
Genesis
10
HJH '19   •   December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
My Cult
3
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24   •   December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
Crying in the Rain
3
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
Churchill
22
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
Eugenics
ASB '17   •   December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…