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Pieces
Chivalry is Dead
118
JGB '25 • May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18 • May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Red Dye 40
79
EAT '24 • December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
Trading Up
45
EB '24 • September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house. – Starti…
Richard A. Smith: The Hero
52
MFP '23-24 • December 2021
It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, which is why I spend all my time wandering ar…
Best Picture
4
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
But just what a year for movies! All my friends tell me, they tell me George Clooney, you love movi…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19 • December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
12
MMM '20 • October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24 • May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
Godzilla Comix
37
AMC '23 •
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23 •
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Kashan Rugs
10
EAH • May 2022
Elvis's Draft Letter
87
LKN '25 • March 2023
This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
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