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Cool #


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Publication: December 2021

On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. “Let there be light,” He said, and there was light. And God saw that it was
good—or, no, ‘good’ wasn’t quite the right word. It was glorious, but in an understated, huh-I-wasn’t-even-trying-to-do-that, kind of way. Light? Sure, God didn’t mind if it was. But if it wasn’t, that was cool too—

Cool! Yes. That was it. ‘Cool’ was the word God was looking for.


Pieces

...
Squigley
10
December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
...
Secret Journal
4
December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
...
Cool Kevin
2
December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
...
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
24
December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
...
World Famous Worm
40
December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
...
King of Smooth
21
December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
...
Vanitas
51
March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
...
Hottest Girls In School
10
December 2021
And, action.  Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
...
Frat Boy
29
December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy.  Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
...
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
18
December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…