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Pieces

J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney
126
LKN '25   •   May 2023
085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, …
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Rhombus
325
JGB '25   •   May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21   •   March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24   •  
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
Barbershop Quartet
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
Day in the Life Comix
30
IKI '26   •   May 2023
King of Smooth
78
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23   •   May 2022
Dinosaur Story
25
FOD '24   •   May 2022
Tour Guide: We’ve finally reached the Chicxulub crater, everyone, the site of the explosion t…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24   •   May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
Birthday Card
20
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Ways to Get Away with Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater
83
JGB '25   •  
- Wait for the movie to have a scene with explosions, then point and yell fire  - Rent out an…
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
Middle School Beauty
34
MJS '19   •   June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
Econdoms
29
WLU '25   •   May 2022
Best Picture
4
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
But just what a year for movies! All my friends tell me, they tell me George Clooney, you love movi…