Sign in Subscribe
About Comp Masthead Contact Search
Home About Comp Masthead Contact Sign in Subscribe

Pieces

My First Real Piece Ever
1
DJL '20   •   October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
Half Day
11
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
Good afternoon, parents. Principal Mueller here calling to inform you that your student has been re…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Staring Contest
1
ghost   •   June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
Day in the Life Comix
30
IKI '26   •   May 2023
Life After the Lampoon
18
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
Lolita
102
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
The Woods
72
JLN '21-22   •   November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22   •   January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20   •   June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous   •   March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
Leisure Corner
GPL '21-'22   •   March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
Last Day at the Zoo
17
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
Video Game Pitch
23
JRD '22-'23   •  
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25   •   May 2022
2019 World Expo
14
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23   •  
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Opening Line of My Book
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
“Alright everyone… settle down, settle down, if you could all gather round, come a lit…
Chivalry is Dead
119
JGB '25   •   May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…