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Pieces

Dinner Date
6
BGS '22-'23   •   November 2020
Lindsey: It is so hot that you speak French, Jack.Jack: Ah, but how else would I order . . . la cr&…
Chivalry is Dead
118
JGB '25   •   May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Placebo
77
JTK '24   •   May 2022
Puritan Party
30
RYSL FOD   •   May 2023
Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! …
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19   •   December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
The Woods
72
JLN '21-22   •   November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Strange Position
26
SAB '24   •  
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
Gorilla Larry
18
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
– Woo wooo  eeh  ahhh  wooo  *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22   •   October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
One Man Show
36
EPS '24   •   August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
City Nights, 3029
20
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
TV Show Taglines
31
ZDG '20   •   October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Hit, That, Button
10
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2018
“How you folks doin tonight!?” Wooot, wooooooot! “Coming at you from the city o…